Wine Tells the Truth
by HuntressofArtemis39
Summary: It is three days after the Titan war and the Olympians just want to see how their kids are doing. What do they find instead? Our two favorite demigods...Drunk.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Just another random little oneshot for you guys! Enjoy :p Disclaimer- I do not own pjo characters!**

Athena was worried. Zeus had a called a council but they weren't doing anything. Athena knew that Zeus had only told them to get together because he wasn't for sure what else to do with himself. It had only been a few days since the titan war and Athena was wondering how her children were coping with the pain. Especially Annabeth.

"Father" she said "Are we planning on doing anything?" Her father looked slightly frantic with not having anything to stress about.

"Um…No Athena…" Poseidon scowled.

"Well then, I should be working on my palace right now-" before the big oaf could get into a rant I cut him off.

"We should visit our children." Hermes flinched. He was still sore about Luke I'm sure.

"I mean it had only been what? Three days since the war? I want to make sure my children are ok." Hermes nodded.

"It will be good to spend some time with our kids." he said. Zeus considered.

"What about Artemis, Hera, and I?" he asked.

"Aren't Artemis's hunters staying at camp for the week?" I asked. "You would be able to see Thalia and Artemis her hunters…and um Hera-" She was already gone.

"Ah, forget her!" Apollo said "Are we going or not?" Zeus shrugged.

"Fine by me" he said. I saw a glint in his eyes and I knew he wanted to see Thalia. So we all zapped out.

When we entered the camp It was in a state of panic.

"I didn't mean to!" Clarisse was saying in horror. "I thought it would help them!" she turned to the Stoll brothers. "You got them the wrong kind!" she accused.

"No!" the yelled also looking stressed. "We got them the right kind! We checked like twenty times!"

"It doesn't matter who's fault it is!" Katie said. "We have to get them out of it before Chiron sees!" The rest of the camp and the Hunters nodded.

"Um…What did you do?" Ares asked. The whole camp jumped and turned.

"Ah!" They all screamed

"We didn't mean to!" Drew yelled from Aphrodite. "It wasn't our fault! Blame anyone but me!"

"What isn't your fault?" Athena asked. Then she realized something "Where's Annabeth?" They all exchanged looks.

Then out of no where a yell came.

"ANNABETH! PERCY! Ah! Come back!" Thalia rushed out with Nico right on her tail. They each held a struggling person in their grip.

"We found them!" Nico announced. Then Percy managed to get out of his grip.

He fell to the ground and put his head in his hands. Annabeth was laughing.

"Let me go Thals!" she yelled. "Oh my goodness I feel funny!" she laughed even harder.

"Hey Anna!" Percy laughed "I feel funny too!" Poseidon looked at them horrified.

"What in the name of Hades did you _do _to them!" Rachel bit her lip.

"Um…Well…" Annabeth laughed again.

"Your hair is on fire!" she said. Rachel looked offended.

"It was Travis's idea!" somebody yelled.

"Was not!" Percy started a new round of laughing.

"Where is that bottle? I want some more please! Pleeeeeaaaaaaasssssseeeeeee!" Great they got them drunk. Athena glared.

"Get Dionysus" She sighed. A few campers scrambled off.

"No." Nico said. "We are never letting you near some of that stuff again!"

"Don't tell me what to do emo boy!" Percy yelled "Go cut yourself!"

"I'm not emo!" Nico objected.

"Hahahahahahaha emo is a funny word!" Nico face palmed.

"Hey! Hey! Hey Thalia!" Annabeth yelled. "Hey! Do you know what is shocking? Do you?" Thalia stared.

"Um…No?"

"Nothing! Nothing is shocking but you! Get it? You're shocking? Hahahaha!"

"Oh gods" Katie said.

"Hey Thalia!" Percy yelled. "Guess what!"

"What?" Thalia asked warily.

"I don't hate you anymore!" Thalia looked hurt.

"What? You hated me?" Percy laughed again.

"Nooooo! I was just upset that you left me allllllll alone with the big scary prophecy!" He laughed again. "I mean, I was counting on you and you let me down! Haha! That always happens though doesn't it? You count on someone and they let you down! Luke let me down, You let me down, I let a lot of people down! Hey, if it wasn't for me people still might be alive!" He turned his head up to the sky and yelled "See? It's all my fault! I killed you guys! Beckondorf, Silena, Luke, they all died because of me! ME!" He then let out a little sob.

"Percy…" somebody said.

"Hey Percy! Hey, hey, hey! I feel the same wayyyyyyyyy!" Annabeth giggled. "You know I hated you…and Rachel! You were sooooooooo dumb! You didn't figured out I liked you for five years! Then miss. Perfect comes along! You are all gogo eyed….Rachel this, and Rachel that…Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. Then she comes along and saves the day! No matter what I did it was still Rachel!" Athena gritted my teeth. This kid hurt her daughter! He was dead meat!

"Well you were all over Luke! I thought you were going to go over to the Titans for him! I hated him and then he comes over and dies and feel like a total jerk!" Then he bursts out laughing. "I hate this…HATE it! Why couldn't I have died? Why did I have to care so damn much?" She couldn't help but feel a bit of pain there…

He paused for a moment before saying "Hey. Is that a tree?" Annabeth laughed and looked over to where Percy was pointing.

"Noooooo! That is pickle! A very tall pickle!" Drew did not take to kindly to these names.

"Why you little-"

"We're not little!" Percy laughed "We're taller than you!" he then threw back his head and laughed again, this time more hysterical.

"Hi!" he said cheerfully. Then his face darkened. "Kronos is coming back. He is going to kill us all." Wow that was cheerful. Annabeth let out a little scream.

"Kronos!" she laughed and said "Who would have ever thought Kronos could be so good looking?" She looked at her oddly before remembering that Kronos had been in Luke's body.

"I have a question!" Annabeth announced.

"Cool…" Percy slurred.

"Are you going to answer it?"

"Nooooo"

"Ok. So my question is that, If I died what would you do?" Percy looked at her for a moment before saying.

"I guess I would die too." Her heart couldn't help but warm up just a little.

"HA! You answered." Annabeth yelled.

"Cool."

"You can be annoying." Annabeth said.

"You can be annoying."

"I just said that."

"I just said that."

"No."

"No."

"Stop it!" Annabeth screamed.

"Stop it!" Annabeth threw her knife at Percy who just dodged it.

"Percy?"

"What?"

"I love you." There was a moment of silence around the fire.

"I love you too" Percy sighed. "I wish things could be different." Annabeth nodded.

"Me too, Percy. Me too." Then there was a loud snap. They both collapsed.

"What the-?"

"Calm down. It's just me. I figured these too might need to let some of their feelings air out." Dionysus said walking up.

"You did this?" Zeus asked.

"SEE IT WASN'T OUR FAULT!" The Stolls yelled.

"Listen, I may not be the nicest guy on the block but sometimes its nice to get a little drunk." Dionysus said. Athena shook her head.

"And what-" she began but was cut off by moaning.

"My head!" Percy groaned.

"You're telling me!" Annabeth said. "Oh, gods! I'm going to be sick." she ran over towards the bathrooms.

"What happened?" Percy asked. "Did someone clot me over the head with something?" Katie laughed.

"Not exactly."

"Huh?"

"Percy. If I were you I would just go to bed." Poseidon said.

"Dad? What the-? You know what? Never mind. Bed sounds good right now." He got up and left.

"Well." Clarisse said "On the bright at lease Chiron didn't-"

"Didn't what?" Chiron said glaring at the crowd. The demigods exchanged looks and said union.

"It was Dionysus's fault!"

**Soooo there you have it! please review :p**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heyyyy! Sorry about that guys :( nmy computer was being a jerk so i accidently reposted the same chapter. So anyway i decided to make this a three-shot because i just had to write another chapter. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2~**

Percy was rather confused. He usually was but this time more than ever. He had woken up this morning with a serious headache and a need for some Tylenol. Even now his head felt like it was going to fall off. As he was walking to archery a group of Apollo kids came up to him with a pill.

"Here" a girl said to him, handing him a glass of water and the pill "It'll make the pain go away." The pain in Percy's head was so horrible he took it without question.

"Thanks" he said relieved. "But how did you know my head hurt?" The kids exchanged knowing smiles and let without a word.

"What was that about?" he asked. A group of Hermes kids ran by him.

"HEY!" Conner yelled "PERC! Do you want to watch the Hangover with us?" They all snickered.

"What?" Travis gave a wicked grin.

"By tomorrow I bet he'll be ready for the Hangover two!" He laughed.

"What are you guys talking about?" Percy said sounding fed up. They just ran away laughing.

As Percy walked on (now deciding to skip Archery. Hopefully Chiron would not get too mad) he saw Drew staring hard at a pickle.

"Um. What are you doing?" He asked perplexed. Drew looked up and gave him a death glare.

"I am comparing myself to this pickle if you must know!" she snapped "I hope you are here to apologize about what you said about me!"

"Huh?" Drew stamped her foot.

"WELL!" Percy took a step back. After dating Annabeth he learned how to calm down girls easily.

"Drew, listen. I don't really know what you are talking about! Honestly. Maybe we should just talk about something else instead. Ummm… Justin Beiber?" Unfortunately Drew was not swayed. She tapped her foot impatiently.

"Ok. So what do I need to apologize about then? Cause I honestly forgot." For a moment Drew glared so he decided to guess.

"Umm…" he tapped his lip thoughtfully. Then a look of horror appeared on his face.

"Oh gods Drew I am so sorry!" he yelped. For a moment Drew looked smug but Percy had to continue.

"I didn't mean it! I'm sorry. Telling you that Drew was a boy's name must have hurt your feelings badly. Especially since you're an Aphrodite kid and you actually care about that stuff." Drew's eyes suddenly flared up with anger.

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"Oh was that not it?" Percy said "Oh, then I am sorry for telling everybody that your new makeup looks fake."

"PERSEUS JACKSON!" Drew screamed "WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO WISH YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN! ALL I WANTED FOR YOU TO DO IS APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING ME A DAMN PICKLE!" With that she lunged at a horror struck Percy. He barely managed to get out of the way and run into an ill tempered Annabeth.

"Percy!" she said crossly "Watch were you are going." Drew stormed toward them with a curling iron in hand.

"Percy!" she screamed "I am going to take this damn curling iron and stick it up your freakin asshole!"

"Oh. My. Gods." Percy said horrified. Annabeth groaned.

"Great. This day just gets worse and worse. First, I throw up a billion times. Second, I have massive headaches. Third, everyone keeps talking about how Rachel is mad at me because I said something about her hair. Fourth-"

"Annabeth! Quick save me!" Percy yelped and hid behind her.

"Drew" Annabeth sighed "What did this kelp head do?" Drew glared.

"Well first off I just wanted him to apologize for what he told me earlier and then he offends me! He tells me that my name is a boy's name and that my makeup is fake! Now if you'll excuse me I have to stick this thing right up his-"

"Percy!" Annabeth yelled "You pay attention to her makeup!"

"Huh?" he asked

"You heard me." she snapped. "You look at other girls when I'm not around? I see how it is! Drew if you could just hand me that curling iron…"

"No way Einstein! Get your own."

"You know another good place that iron could go? YOUR MOUTH!"

"Alright you asked for it!" Now, normally if his girlfriend was in a fight, Percy would back her up. But considering they both wanted to beat him up he had a feeling he should stay out of this one.

As quickly as he could manage he snuck over to the arena hoping to sword fight a little. Then he felt a shock.

"OW!" he yelled and turned to see a very angry looking Thalia.

"Why didn't you tell me how you felt" she demand.

"How I-? Ah! What in the name of Hades are all you people talking about!" Thalia stared at him crossly.

"Answer the question seaweed brain" she spit out.

"How I felt? What do you mean! If you think I like you or something then you should talk to Nico." ZAP "OW, THALIA! What do you want me to freakin say? That I've loved you ever since we've met?" He said sarcastically. Thalia's eyes widened.

"_What_?" she asked. "You love me?"

"Oh, great. Thals." She was already gone. Rachel came in as she left and grinned at Percy.

"What now?" he said warily.

"What now?" she mimicked.

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

"Rachel why are you mimicking me?"

"Rachel why are you mimicking me?"

"Stop copying me!"

"Stop copying me!"

"Ah!"

"Ah!"

"WHHHYYYY?"

"Because you were doing the same thing last night to Annabeth." Percy froze. Last night? Now that he thought about he didn't remember last night. He then had a vague memory of him laughing while drinking something….Drinking something…Oh gods.

"Percy-" Rachel began but he was already sprinting up to the big house.

"PERCY!" Chiron yelled as he almost made it to the camp director's door.

"What?" he called back. Chiron gestured him toward him. With a sigh he obliged.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"You missed archery." Chiron said sternly. Percy groaned.

"I'm sorry but I had a really bad headache and-"

"Ah, yes" Chiron interrupted. "That would make sense."

"What?"

"Do you remember last night Percy?"

"Um. No. Everyone keeps talking about it though. What happened?"

"Well Clarisse thought it would be a good idea to give you a little wine so you and Annabeth would calm down…Then Mr. D kind of made it a little bit stronger…"

"I was drunk!" He asked horrified.

"Well…"

"PERSEUS JACKSON WHERE THE HADES ARE YOU!" Percy turned to see an _extremely _pissed off Annabeth.

"Hi." He said trying to remember where he had last left his will.

"You are in love with Thalia!" She spat out, disgusted.

"What? No! That was-"

"Really? Cause that's what she told me!"

"Well you see-"

"Is that what you told her?"

"Yes but-"

"YOU TRAITOR!"

"It-"

"I hate you!" she might have went on but Percy suddenly did something very risky.

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!" Annabeth was shocked into silence for a moment. Percy took the advantage.

"It was sarcasm ok? I was just joking around! I don't love Thalia!" She crossed her arms for a moment then sighed.

"Percy?" she asked.

"What?"

"I have a feeling we might have not been ourselves last night…"

"Yep. That's what I heard."

"So um…What do we do about it?" Percy couldn't help but smile.

"Well…Do you perhaps have some wine?"

"No why?"

"Payback time."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello wonderful viewers! So, i have finally decided to update this final chapter :D *Take a bow* It isnt as good as my other chapter but hey i think it'll do. Hope you enjoy~**

**Disclamer: I always forget these... I do not own PJO**

Chapter 3

"Percy. This is a bad idea. A really, really, really bad idea. A exorbitantly, immoderately, prohibitively bad idea." Percy sighed and turned to his girlfriend.

"Annabeth, I have no idea what half of those words mean." She opened her mouth, Perhaps to tell him but he held up his hand to cut her off. "Do you want revenge or not?" he asked.

"Percy, I think they might have been trying to help us. We shouldn't do this."

"You came up with the plan."

"So?"

"Well, I'm doing it whether you are helping me or not." Annabeth glared and followed, muttering something about stupid boyfriends. Percy ignored her and looked around the camp. All was silent in the dead of the night aside from the noise of two teenage demigods walking to mess hall.

"Alright" Percy murmured "Perfect." he turned to grin at his girlfriend who couldn't help but smirk back. Oh, the fun things they had in store for them…

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><p>Clarisse groaned and picker herself off the sofa. She thought about sleeping for a few more minutes but decided against it. There were a few more newbies coming today and she wanted to make sure they weren't left out on her usual welcoming ceremony of honor. She stretched and grabbed her spear, twirling it as she went.<p>

Once she got to mess hall she sat at her table to find it was unusually quiet. She didn't understand why until she felt it. Demigods have like this sixth sense when something is wrong and she vaguely felt it.

"What's going on?" she asked gripping her weapon tightly. No one said anything. She locked eyes with Annabeth.

_Act normal _she mouthed. Clarisse debated on whether she should follow these instructions. They sounded like a load to her but remembered that Annabeth was the best strategist of the centaury. She sighed and raised her cup of water to her lips.

"ACK!" she sputtered as she spit the liquid out. "What the hell was that?" she asked her cabin mates but they were spitting out the liquid also. Clarisse looked inside the cup. A black liquid was inside. Was that…oil? Oh my gods! She needed to get some water. Sprinting she ran to the nearest water station. Gah! It tasted like old socks! In horror she went to her friend/ enemy.

"HELP!" she croaked when she saw Percy "Water-" Poor Clarisse didn't seem to see a bunch of other kids chugging water that Percy was handing out. Nor did she notice when she drank hers that he was smirking, or that it didn't exactly taste like water…

* * *

><p>"This council meeting is now in session!" Zeus boomed over the Olympians' yelling. They all sat down fuming over whatever argument they had been having. Zeus waved his hands and servants came with the Olympians' usual choice of drink.<p>

"What the-?" Dionysus asked as a glittering goblet was given to him. He was sure it was wine but knew he couldn't drink it. After a quick glance over at his father, who was distracted, he smiled and took a long gulp.

"ACK!" he suddenly yelled causing everyone in the room to turned to him. He chocked for a minute the let out a little strangled noise. "WHY THE HADES DID YOU GIVE ME THAT!" he screamed at a cowering servant.

"I-I-It w-was a gift, M-master" he stuttered out. Dionysus's eyes blazed in fury.

"From whom?" he growled but at that moment an Isis message appeared.

"Hey guys!" Percy smiled.

"Percy?" his father asked "What are you doing?" Annabeth came and sat next to him smiling, though it seemed slightly nervous.

"Oh, we have some…unfinished business to attend to." she said. Percy turned to Dionysus.

"Did you enjoy are present?" he asked.

"WHY YOU LITTLE CONCIEVED BRAT!" He screamed "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-"

"That's what you get for getting us drunk!" Annabeth snapped glaring.

"But…" Dionysus whimpered. "You gave me wine…and it was nonalcoholic…" Percy and Annabeth smirked while the rest of the Olympians chuckled.

"I am going to make sure that the camp is in chaos!" he threatened. Percy laughed.

"Already done." he said. They all gave him a questioning look aside form Annabeth who sighed. They moved out of the way to reveal a bunch of drunken heroes.

"Who do you want to talk to first?" Annabeth asked.

"What did you do!" Demeter asked alarmed.

"I think…Nico!" Percy smiled. Annabeth disappeared then came back with Nico slumping in her arms.

"Where am I?" he slurred.

"Where do you think?" Annabeth asked.

"Candy land?" he asked a little hopefully.

"Yep!" Percy said cheerfully.

"Yay!" he squealed like a five year old.

"Hey Nico, what do you think of Thalia?" Annabeth giggled.

"She's preeeeetttyyyy." he said "And funny, and pretty, and mean-ish, and nice-ish…and pretty."

"Awwww!" Percy cooed. "Do you have a crush on Thalia?" he asked in a baby voice. Nico paid no attention.

"Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look at…Look at me!" he jumped about an inch off the ground "I can fly!"

"Oh yeah Nico…Impressive."

"I like pie with tomatoes and lemons in it." Percy made a face.

"Gross." he commented.

"I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie wo-orld!" Nico sang. He poked Annabeth.

"You're not plastic like Barbie!" he said almost accusingly "And Barbie had blue eyes…Pretty, pretty, pretty blue eyes." Everyone raised their eyebrows.

"I think dead people should die…Hey don't you think that Drew should die her hair pink? Then she could look like a super model troll doll!" Aphrodite yelped.

"How dare you insult my children!" she screeched.

"Hi Drew!" he said. Aphrodite took a labored breath and sat back down glaring daggers at Nico.

"Hey did you know my real name is Nicodemus?" he asked. Apollo choked.

"Y-y-your name is Nicodemus?" he said and then paused for a moment before having a major laughing fit.

"What? Percy's real name is Perseus. Annabeth's real name is Annabethous."

"My name is _what_?" Annabeth asked.

"You know what's funny? You're a child of Athena and you are blonde. Hehe. Dumb blond."

"Time to go!" Percy yelped and grabbed Nico before Annabeth could kill him. He came back a minute later with Will Solace a son of Apollo. Apollo froze looking at his son. Then glanced at Hades who was sitting their mortified by his son's behavior. He hoped Will wouldn't act like that…

"I LIKE PINK GIRAFFES!" was the first thing out of his mouth. Apollo did a face palm.

"Um…"

"That's…never mind.""And I like to eat purple pineapple…" Will slurred. He looked at Artemis "Do you like purple pineapple?" Artemis stared in disgust.

"Will, who do you like?" Annabeth asked. Will hiccupped then turned to her.

"Wellllll….Well, well, well, well. Artemis is pretty, and she can shoot…better than dad. And she is smoking hot." Artemis let out a gag, while Apollo gasped.

"But its pretty awkward cause she's like my aunt, and she hates guys, and yeeeaaaaahhhhh she has a nice ass…" Artemis screeched and took out her arrows.

"Artie sit done he's drunk!" Hermes said in his nephew's defense. After a moment she obliged but her eyes were on fire.

"What is the difference between an orange?"

"And what?" Annabeth asked.

"An orange…"

"Umm…nothing?"

"Nope. A bird flies and a penguin doesn't." Annabeth cocked her head.

"But that wasn't the question."

"Snakes."

"…"

"_Apollo is weird_

_But that Is alright, I am_

_Still very, very, very, cool_" Apollo put a hand over his chest.

"I gave him such an amazing poetry ability…Even when he is drunk." Zeus turned to his son and stared at him for a long time before slowly turning to watch the message.

"Wow…" Annabeth sighed. Then Isis voice spoke.

"To add another five minutes please deposit one drama. Thank you." Percy dug into his pocket and pulled out two gold coins and threw them in.

"You have ten minutes remaining."

"Alrighty, so lets have Clarisse and Thals up here shall we?" Percy asked as he took Will out. Next he brought in the two girls.

"Hey guys!" Annabeth greeted them.

"Hi Princess, and Prissy…or are you guys Espouses? Cause can kill you…" Clarisse mumbled.

"Hey are you saying that I look like a girl?" Percy said completely offended. Thalia giggled.

"Nooooo but you act like one!" Everyone aside from Percy burst into laughter. Percy's eyes flared for a moment before he stalked off.

"Aww, Thals, look what you did!" Annabeth whined.

"You know" Clarisse said "All I've ever wanted in life was world peace…" Ares choked.

"WHAT!" he screamed "But…War is so **** awesome…" he said sounding heartbroken.

"Like a good neighbor State farm is there." Thalia said then sighed as if she was telling a depressing story. Percy came back and grinned.

"You recovered fast" Annabeth commented. He ignored her and turned to Thalia.

"So Pinecone face-" Thundered rumbled. Percy turned to Zeus. "You know you can just talk it out right?" He said then turned back to Thalia.

"Since you are with the Hunters…Are you a lesbian?"

"WHAT!" Both Zeus and Artemis shouted.

"Just because she is smart enough to see boys are ignorant fools" Artemis said slowly her voice oddly controlled. "Does _not_ mean she is a lesbian!" Thalia blinked and then shook her head.

"Damn" Percy muttered. "So you don't like anyone?"

"Weeeelllllllll" she giggled "I like gummy bears! And I like my little ponies!" There was a moment if silence.

"Wow…." Poseidon said "Just wow…"

"Brother your daughter needs to eat more cereal" Demeter informed him. Thunder rumbled again.

"SHUT UP!" everyone turned and to their surprise it was Thalia who spoke. "Gods, that is soooo annoying!" Her voice was no longer slurred and she was giving her father the evil eye. Then her look turned to a guilty looking Percy and Annabeth.

"I'm guessing you really weren't drunk?" Annabeth said in a small voice. Her glare told them all they needed to know.

"Sooo why did you pretend?" Percy asked.

"So I could do this!" Thalia smirked and shocked him.

"OW!" he yelped rubbing his arm. "Damn it Thalia that freakin hurt!"

"That's what you get for trying to get me filled up with alcohol!"

"It was her idea…" Percy muttered glaring at Annabeth as if it were her fault.

"MY LITTLE PONY, MY LITTLE PONY!" Screamed Travis Stoll running through the camp. Sadly he only had his underwear on which was a very disturbing scene.

"Look at meeeeeeee!" Drew sang as she dance around with a lacey pink bra strapped to her head.

"I can do a flip!" Katie Gardner exclaimed vibrantly she jumped off the big house. From there she attempted to do a flip only to fall into a pile of strawberries.

"Percy…" Annabeth said "I'm regretting revenge."

"Me too." Percy said staring in horror at the fiasco behind them. They turned back to the Olympians and swiped the message away while yelling

"DRINK RESPONSIBLY!"

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><p><strong> So you like? Please review! Final chapter :p<strong>


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